I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
