i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
