Where did you get a picture of my penis
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
