First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What a dumb baby whore.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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