So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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