Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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