Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
