he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
