One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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