You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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