he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
