someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
