Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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