I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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