He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
