the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
