he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
thus making me awesome and them whores
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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