covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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