I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize