had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
