I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
