Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
