girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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