just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
