so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
