doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
