I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
