Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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