You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
