i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
