he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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