I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
