I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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