I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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