i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize