if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
