if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
