I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
home. puking in laundry basket.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
