You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
