Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
