it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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