I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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