TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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