I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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