Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
