So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
jump out the window naked night went bad
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
