You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
