Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
