Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
