I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
