Im at strip club and am horny
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
