my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
