Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
