But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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