Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
