Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
where am i from again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
