I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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