Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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