I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
