I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
