Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
foreskin is a definite game changer
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize