Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you would pick up someone in the library
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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