Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
