I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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