I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
