So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
